Start of my new Screenplay

Okay, you are all being stingy and playing hard to get when it comes to the comments. And make no mistake I know you're reading of at least looking at my posts, because this website is telling me so. hahaha

So, I'll tell you what. I'm going to post the second draft of my new 2+ page screen play, which I call "Suffering the Dragon". If you read it, tell me what you think. Go on. Even if it's to say that it sucks donkey butt. It probably does too, as this is the first time I've even tired to write a screen play. And like I said above I'm only 2+ pages in.

Go ahead. Go nuts and tell what you think. Be mean people, I DARE YOU!! There you go I said it. You made me do it and there it is. Oh yeah, I said be mean, but please keep it clean, which means no swear words. Not even the ones you don't think are swear words, because they probably are, so don't use 'em.

Here it is:

Suffering the Dragon

Episode one

Suffering

Written by, R. Alan Ferguson

Based on a story by, R. Alan Ferguson

FADE IN

INT. ROYAL PALACE OF KING LUTHERT – NIGHT

The queen is in labour and ready to birth her child.

FLASH

The child is born and has been taken to be checked, the queen continues to have contractions. The second son is born and this one is a deformed creature, infected with the decease known as The Dragon.

BEGIN OPENING CREDITS

INT. THE SMALL TOWN OF CAMUYAT, LOCAL TAVERN, THE LAME MARE - EVENING

A man enters the tavern, where the patrons give him no more than a side glance, as the stranger moves to the bar where the tavern owner is wiping his dirty ale mugs.

Devot

(Weary)

I need a room for the night. Do you know of anywhere nearby I could go?

Tavern Owner

The only inn round these parts is Oreton's. It's a quarter mile down the road to the left as you go out my door. I could always put you up here, if the money were right, that is.I have to warn you though, the room will be small.

Devot

That doesn’t bother me. I won’t be here that long. What time do you serve food here?

Tavern Owner

Breakfast is at six, lunch between noon and two. Dinner is served around now, if you want it?

Devot

That's fine. I'll have it now.

The tavern owner hands Devot a small worn menu. Devot takes it and sits at a table with his back to the wall.

INT. COMMIN ROOM, THE LAME MARE – DAYBREAK

Devot is finishing his breakfast. One man sits in a direct line of sight with Devot and stares at him. Devot gets up and takes hold of his belongings, of which includes a rilfe, then steps to the door. The staring man and some others stand. The staring man speaks.

Hamet

(to Devot)

My name is Hamet. And this is the welcoming committee of our town Camuyat.

(more)

Laughter and jeering comes from the small group of men around Hamet.

Hamet

(cont.)

You see there's a tax for Strangers in this 'ere town an I fer one think it's time fer you to pay it.

Hamet spits on the floor.

Devot

(to Hamet)

I'm just passing through. I'll be gone very soon. Besides there was no mention of a tax, when I got here last night.

Hamet

(Angry)

I'm tellin' ya' now. So pay up.

Devot moves to the door to leave. Hamet rushes and grabs Devot's arm, the two stand glaring at one another.

EXT. THE LAME MARE - MORNING

The door of the tavern closes behind (bg. Men lay unconscious on the floor of the Lame Mare) Devot, as he walks to the stable yard, gets his horse and leaves the town behind.

EXT. tHE MAIN ROAD - DAY

Devot travels along the road. The trees are creaking around him and there are no other sounds, not one.

Suddenly there's a scream coming from Devot's left, he looks into the woodland, but can see nothing but trees. He jumps from his horse and ties it to the nearest tree, then moves into the woods with his rifle ready in his hands.

EXT. THE WOODS OFF THE MAIN ROAD - DAY

Devot stalks his way through the trees, looking for the source of the scream. As he stands on a rise looking down, a teenage girl shoots out of the trees and passes by where Devot now kneels.

Hot on the girl's heels is a man infected with The Dragon. The creature, that was once a man ran on all fours like on animal. It's claws digging into the ground to give to it momentum as it runs down it's pray. (sounds of rifle being loaded and a scream as the girl falls o.s.) Devot lifts his rifle and aims it at the thing about to strike the girl, who lies sprawled after her fall.

Bang! The bullet from the rifle hits the creature on the side of the head, while in midair. The monster lands a meter away from where the girl is picking herself off the the leaves.

Auronia

(panting)

Thank you. Thank you.

Tears streaming down her she stares at the creature lying dead.

Devot walks over to her. Puts his hand on her head to turn her gaze away. The girl pulls him close and sobs on to his chest.